2013 Christmas Letter

Perhaps you have figured out by now that 2009 was the last “real” stupid Christmas letter. I made up the 2010, 2011, and 2012 stuff just a few days ago after creating this historic website.

Hmmm…that was a dumb thing to say considering I made up all the other stuff too. What I meant to say was that for 2010 and after I made up the fact that I made up stupid Christmas letters for those particular years. So when I said I made them up for those years, not only did I make that up but I hid the fact that that particular statement was also made up. But if you look at it from a different left-handed perspective you might be able to see where I was coming from in that the made up portions came about not as an intentional ruse that I had hoped they would be but instead as one meant for pure entertainment mostly at the expense of my siblings who will likely never read this anyway because I do not intend to tell them about it as I would risk the chance of being accused of fabricating most of the stories from the odd numbered years. Which, I guess I really did, now that I think about it. Honest…I didn’t make that up. Mostly.

I digressed.

Writing stupid Christmas letters just became too stressful over the years. It’s not easy being creative, deceitful, and old all at the same time. And just like the war on hunger, the war on poverty, and the war on pinecones, the war on obnoxious Christmas letters simply cannot be won.

But the war on orphaned pickles…now that’s a war worth fighting because I’m pretty sure I can win it.